Posted by: shannonc | August 30, 2012

Flattened

Beginner Novice Test A:

Enter at A.  Undershoot center line…travel haunches-in to X.

Arrive late to M and two-wheel around corner.

HEKA, travel in stiff direction, working trot, arguing about whether horse should hang on the left rein.

A, circle left 20m.  Approaching K, anticipate canter, throw head in air.

Between K and A, lose correct bend, launch haphazardly into new gait.

A, circle left 20m.  Pretend to have horse in right rein.  Remind self the entire time that the left stuff is almost done.

2 centimeters past F, trot and breathe sigh of relief.

Between M and C, break to walk with almost no energy.  Kick horse heartily in front of judge at C to show this isn’t your idea.

HXF, free walk.  Leave hind end as close to H as possible the entire way across the diagonal.

AKEH, relatively acceptable working trot.

C, circle left 20m, working trot, trying like heck to keep hind feet on the same track as front feet.

X, drop back.  Curse “good” direction which was apparently left at home.  Dread what is coming.

Between H and C, hissy fit.

C, passage.

M-ish, three-quarters circle in an approximate imitation of canter.

One centimeter past M, trot running.

A, down centerline.

X, halt, salute.  Begrudgingly pat horse and try to ignore look of disdain from judge.  Contemplate providing a gift card next time…

 

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Responses

  1. You are speaking my language!!! I had an awesome dressage horse that was lovely and expressive, as soon as we got into the show ring, he turned into a raving maniac. The judge actually said, “What happened? I saw you two warming up earlier and I was impressed.” Horses, how I love them, though they drive me crazy. LOVE your writing! Thanks for making me laugh! I never thought about the gift card idea- I think you are on to something! LOL!


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